RSVPs

Blogging on a weekend feels strange but I finally have some downtime  in the middle of all the planning chaos. 

That doesn’t mean all things wedding aren’t on my mind (obviously). Sitting poolside with a corona and I decided it felt like a good time for another post. 
We’re only 42 days away 😳 so naturally were in the time of finalizing details. One of the most frustrating parts of this whole process is RSVPs. 

My advice here is to give a RSVP deadline a week or two before your final counts are due to caterers etc. The more time the better.  

There’s no doubt that no matter how far you plan etc. you’re going to be bugging people for their RSVPs. Electronic,traditional it doesn’t matter. 

We invited about 240 people to our wedding  and a week after our RSVP deadline we had RSVPs from probably 80.

Now I’m  two days away from our meeting  when we finalize everything and were still waiting on 15. Technology at least makes it easier to follow up but it’s still a hassle. 

Luckily I went ahead and included (most) the kids of  the couples  we invited in our original guest count because I figured I would rather see the number go down than up 😊. Not that I don’t want everyone there but hey, weddings are expensive! 

This really has been a HUGE help. Even though we invited 250, our caterer recommended food for 175 and it *looks like* we will actually end up with 163!  So at about $30 per person for food only that’s a pretty significant savings when you’re spending so much in so many different places.  

Lots of wedding blogs tell you  you that you should address your invites as “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” if you want to only invite the couple OR ” The Smith Family”  if the kids are included. Let me tell you that THIS does not matter. Nope. Not one bit. 

We had people whose kids we planned for say they aren’t bringing them and people whose kids we didn’t plan for (for multiple reasons such as we’ve never met them) ask if they can bring them.  

It’s not just the number of people that someone wants to bring that can screw things up but also the strange requests that come along with them. 

Be ready for anything and everything! From “I only want to sit at a table of eight” and “don’t sit me in the sun” to “please sit me by x”….whose wedding is this? Just kidding. I really am doing my best to accommodate requests but hey there’s only so much I can do with the amount of people and space. 

Another thing I’ve found super frustrating in collecting RSVPs is the fact that people who KNOW they can’t come don’t want to tell you they can’t come because they don’t want to be rude. 

I wish people would acknowledge that weddings are expensive and if you can’t be there it’s actually more courteous to tell me you can’t so we aren’t spending the $ for the empty seat, favor, food etc. Seriously! We know not everyone can make it, we forgive you! 

Those are the main things that I feel should be touched on in relation to RSVPs because I feel like the RSVP advice and process I’ve found on wedding mediums is sugar coated but there are some tips I’ve read that were real and helpful. 

I like to think the tradition of the snail mail RSVP reply cards are dying out. I know some people might think it’s offensive to do online or phone RSVPs but hey, we have technology so why not use it? You save on postage and there’s less chances of the RSVP getting lost in the mail. 

We did phone RSVPs and had a electronic form submission online which has made it so easy! It’s super cool too because we were able to add fun response options and a field for song requests. 

However if you DO  to decide to go the traditional route DO number your reply cards for when people do not fill out their name.  I’ve seen some people use invisible ink and a black light if you don’t want people to see the numbers. 

I think that’s pretty much all I have on this topic 🙂 now I’m really done with wedding thoughts for the next few hours 😉

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